Friendship 2

 I was given a lift by a stranger called Janet today to the walk that I went on. And four hours later I was talking about my son being estranged and somehow I got to talking to her and Jenny about my sons partner being working-class and she definitely has a chip on her shoulder about us as she sees us as Academic middle-class which we are. We talked about it and I was kind of teasing apart the different factors that have led to this difficulty with my son. This is towards the end of a three hour long walk where Janet has been dipping in and out of my conversation with a woman called Jenny

Out of the blue Janet said : well you make assumptions because you invited me to come to Morocco next month not realising that some people might not have the money and might not have the work leave and on top of that you mention having a boat and you don’t realise it can be hard for people. the tone with which she said it indicated that there was some envy/jealousy there, and she couldn’t help herself jabbing at me. It wasn’t said nicely So I’m mull that over within the next 20 minutes or so, and when we got to her car, she actually apologised for what she said, and I said : well, I did think it was a little bit odd, especially when I only invited her to Morocco to be friendly and inclusive, and to Share the fun really. She said she was sorry she was so blunt.

• But it was a warning signal.

So what is the takeaway from this for me? Yes I could be more sensitive to people who have no work holiday or not enough of it and also don’t have fun money. I Explained to her that if I could, I would magically take her to Morocco with us for the funs- but I just want other people to enjoy life as much as I am enjoying life at the moment. But also the takeaway is that if she is someone who can jab like that , there is a kind of meanness of spirit, then maybe she’s not a friend for me. If she can hurt another without the sensitivity to hold back